Dear Valentine, February 14th is 3 days away!
The thing is, chocolate surprises are nice, but what about designing something more for yourself this year? Why not sweeten the day this Saturday?
Sit back and think about what your favorite Valentine fantasy might be? O.K. now, in your wildest dreams, what is going to happen this Saturday? Not sure yet? Read on..
Whether you are partnered at this moment in your life or not, what do you want to feel this Saturday? Loved of course! And maybe excited? Comforted? Challenged? even tantalized? 9-½ Weeks style?
Of course you know by now, your feelings drive your choices, behaviors and motivation in life and love. The thing is, you can create more of the positive feelings that you want just by recalling positive memories from your past peak experiences. Imagine the feelings you want to have more of.
Pop the top off your histories! What are your positive Valentine’s experiences past? What feelings show up in your body as you recall these right now?
So now as you have those times in mind, what memory stands out most? Recalling that time right now, what might secretly melt your chocolates this Saturday?
Maybe you are thinking bigger…you are mulling over the idea of an exotic trip.. To the Amazon…Africa… ok maybe that’s a bit over the top? Ok to the library? Ok too tame.. To a yoga center with a loved one or all by yourself?
Or maybe you have an artistic or musical creativity you can say YES to. Or the sensual self is ready for tantric yoga after all?
Maybe there is a bold daring career move you might commit to take action on as a Valentine’s present to yourself this year.
So, if you didn’t deny yourself a more indulged life, or talk yourself out of what really matters to you, what would feel a little (or a lot) more indulgent, generous, and meaningful to you this Saturday?
Why wait for someone else to create your experience? If you build it, he/she will come!
In a word, what describes what you will feel this Saturday?
Happy? Alive? Grateful? Sexy? Loved? Loving? Adventurous?
Circle one and map out your plan.
For example if you circled “Sexy”, what can you plan for this Saturday that would make you feel 3 degrees more sexy?
I’d love to hear your ideas!!
And then, what are three actions you might take by Saturday? For example, write a love letter; buy a new pair of underwear; invest in a new cologne or perfume?
And…what feelings might you give away this Saturday?
Resistance. Regret. Self Consciousness?
Is there someone you can make a secret Valentine? Is there someone you know who is on his or her own this year? Is there a small gesture of generosity you can choose that might turn around a difficult day for them? When I think of Cupid, I think Tom Hanks!
“Hello. My name is Forrest Gump. You want a chocolate?”
Whether or not you are in romantic partnership right now, you are always in relationship with you! Isn’t great to shift your radar off the agony of being solo this year, to the delight you can have when you make someone else your secret Valentine? ..
Have you ever dropped flowers off on someone’s doorstep without them knowing they came from you? Fun eh!
Getting more into the heart of your feelings, can you remember childhood Valentine’s days? What are the best, funniest? And yes maybe even worst memories you have had regarding this iconic upcoming day?
What feelings are generated in you right now as you recall these?
What characteristics showed up in you then… and now?
Were you more or less happy then… or now?
Were you more or less passionate then… or now?
Did you feel more or less sexy about yourself then…or now? Well of course you were sexy at 16!! Or were your childhood scripts derailed a little by confusing messages and experiences that interrupted the healthy evolution of your curious sexual brain?
What is important about that reflection right now?
What would happen if you experienced more freedom with your 16 year old Valentine self this Saturday?
I like to spend time in places I used to play when I was young: in the sand or in the trails. I like to crank my music up and have been known to dance a little on my runs sometimes!
I love doing what I call the “Phoebe” (the episode where she runs wildly) So maybe there is something for you to consider about giving yourself permission to turn on your ‘wild’ this Valentine’s Day?
When you consider the Five Love Languages, what is your own Love Language for Self?
Words of Affirmation – How much do you affirm your strengths and appreciate YOU?
Acts of Service – What can you do to make YOUR day happier, alive, and adventurous?
Receiving Gifts – Is there something you have been wanting? Or wanting to give?
Quality Time – What activities bring on your own mojo best? ..Make your partnership 3 degrees hotter?
Physical Touch – How is your sex life? That will be another blog topic!
No matter if you are on your own this Saturday or with your “True Love”, doesn’t your best Valentine’s start with you? Peace.