A heart centred life in Mexico
“When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again”. – Albert Einstein
We were sipping cappuccino yesterday morning in Sayulita beach side, when a pair of Humpback whales (called “Jorobadas” by those who live here) showed up.
Did you know that that whales mate for life? And as a species they breathe out when they dive into the deep. We humans breathe in when diving into the deep unknown waters of conflict. In fact probably as the stresses of your life go up, you may notice yourself holding your breath and losing your heart centre.
The truth is (except on holidays) there is a lot to stress about: finances, lack of time, multiple responsibilities, overwhelming schedules, cars, houses, life stage changes, aging parents, birthing children and all the adaptations to make along the way. In all of these realities from time to time, you may notice yourself becoming irritable, forgetful, lacking sleep and developing a more and more positional style of relating to someone you love.
If life pressures have been on the rise and you have been feeling the disconnect, try not to lock into a story that you are ‘right’ or that your other is ‘wrong’. A positional style of relating is what contributes to the fight or flight, withdraw, pursue relationship dance. It can eventually lead to a complete rupture of your safe attachment over time. We have to know that despite our differences, we are there for each other.
Whales teach us to let go. Breathe more, swim through it all, and stay curious. The more you share and breathe through your experience and thoughts in an unconditional way, the more you will notice other perspectives show up. What stories will you choose to live by? Deeper connection, intimacy and understanding may be waiting for you.
I’m not sure how many times a week I hear couples frustrations about their lack of sexual connection, which is generally a symptom of their lack time spent really connecting. Dr. Pat Love, author of Hot Monogomy suggests that people either ‘turn on’ their sexual brain in a “sexy body” (visual response) or “sexy brain” (emotional response based on a story of love). But in this life that we rush ourselves through with all of the 2014 life demands, whether you are a sexy brain or sexy body person, you are not going to be connecting or feeling sensual or sexual unless you start to become a better manager of your boundaries and time.
I like to remind clients every time they walk into a room, take the first five steps really slowly. Try it yourself. You will notice this practice makes you feel more grounded, less harried and more confident. You will also find you then are more emotionally accessible to others. And when you walk in, take a moment to notice the smells in the room. This can be a great way to calm your brain as your sense of smell (the olfactory system is a bulb like brain structure located directly above the nasal cavity) goes right to the limbic brain (stress center) to calm you.
Every room you go into presents a new stimulation and therefore low level of stress. Your entry into a room also is a low level stress to others as well. This strategy gives you less intrusion and more invitation into conversations and social networks. If you are someone who has some social anxiety, aromatherapy has been shown to be helpful too. Research finds that rosemary reduces cortisol (stress hormone), lavender improves brain function and calms, peppermint increases energy if you are tired, ylang-ylang promotes calm, and lemon has been shown to have an anti-depressant effect. It has also been studied in its positive relationship with the sexual brain. The interesting thing is being on holidays I find myself noticing great smells more than ever.. or is it just the flowers here in Sayulita?
So what else makes us feel heart centred? Of course, a heart pumping exercise routine for 20 minutes every day is your own olympic gold. And, right brain activities such as listening to music, laughing, dancing, singing, or generally being more mindful of slow walking. How’s your sexy swagger?
Which direction will you take your heart centred life?
- Breathe out…let go.
- Overwhelmed? Re-focus attention to your five senses.
- Are there any changes you can make in your life structures to be able to connect more than you are with those you love?
- Are you a ‘sexy brain’ or ‘sexy body’ person?
- Sexy brains, spend time on the story of love in your life!
- Sexy body, do you need to step up your fitness commitment?
Love up, stress down…It is your life and you are in charge.